As you may
already know, I’m going to London to study abroad over winter break. It’s an
exciting opportunity, one I’m looking forward to, but I need to clear a few
things up first.
There is
risk involved in any trip to a major world city. First, I have the flights
there and back. Four times taking off, four times landing. There’s being in the
middle of a city hated by terrorists and with people hated by terrorists. There
have been beheadings in London and bombs set off in London. There’s always a
risk. There is strict gun control in the city; not even the police carry them.
So if someone broke that law, we would be fairly helpless.
Don’t
misunderstand, I have no plans to die in the near future. But life is
uncertain.
The trip
insurance includes costs of flying my body back. My grandmother is worried. My
mother is convinced that I will perish. The risk of death is very low, and
probably not much higher than when I am in the U.S. But it is always there. It
is with such uncertainty that I prepare.
If I die, I
want you to know a few things in my absence.
If I die,
know that I love you. This isn’t directed to anyone specific. A general “I love
you” directed towards many specific people. To my family, even when we butt
heads. To my friends from my hometown and home church, I may not always keep up
with you, but I have not forgotten you guys. To those I’ve met in various
college ventures: those at the BCM and in NRTL, my neighbors in my dorm, the
random people I come into contact with and build a relationship with. To those
at my adopted church, and those at Created Equal. The love that God shows me
has taught me how to love. Though I can’t ever love like Him, I see the
sacrifice His love produced, and I in turn give that to you.
If I die,
know that I care about you. I know I’m sarcastic, awkward and occasionally
creepy. If I didn’t know you well enough, I wouldn’t act the way I do. I do it
because I’m comfortable with you. And I care about what’s going on in your
life. I can sense when something’s bothering you, and it pains me when
something pains you.
If I die,
know that you’ve had an impact on me. If you’re reading this, you have probably
affected me in some way. I hope that I have affected you.
If I die,
know that it is not an accident that we knew each other. I believe God has put
every individual in my life for a reason. If I didn’t see you as worth knowing,
I wouldn’t take the time. I want you in my life.
If I die,
know that I have never allowed differences to separate us. You know I have
strong opinions and beliefs. I believe truth is narrowly defined and live by it
the best I can. If you’re a Christian or not a Christian, I love you. If you’re
liberal or conservative or somewhere else, I love you. If you’re straight or
gay, I love you. Though I may not agree with you or the way you live your life
in some aspects, I care about you.
If I die,
know that it is for a purpose. If it’s an accident or whether I’m murdered for
my faith, God has allowed it for the furtherance of His work. It’s not just Him
choosing, I’ve given myself up to be used in what capacity He wants to use me. I
don’t know that I’m to the point of saying that I’m willing to die if that is
how God can best use me, but I’m striving to get there. That is sacrificial,
biblical Christianity. But know that I will be in a far better place, and I’m
hoping to see you again some day.
If I die,
know that I want you to experience what I have. I knew where Jesus was for a
long time but never found Him. Perhaps you knew me before then, I can’t forget
it. Jesus has made a difference in my life, and He will in any life that lets
Him in. There is nothing short of Him or added to Him that makes life worth
living. At least give it a shot, check out Christianity and see if it’s the
real thing.
If I die,
donate the little money I have to something meaningful. Donate it to stop
oppression: abortion, sex trafficking, and the like. Be sure the organizations
are Christ-driven and proclaimers of the true gospel- that Jesus alone saves
us. He is Who can truly deliver from oppression.
If I die,
post the blog articles I’ve written. The instructions are in my desk at NKU.
If I die, don’t
make my funeral too sorrowful. Preach the gospel and tell some of the
ridiculous stories I’ve managed to be a part of. Know I’m better off where I
am.
Oh, and of
course, cheer on my Franklin and NKU teams.
Hopefully
I’ll see you upon my return. That’s my plan and what likely will happen. But
since seemingly unfair things happen, it never hurts to be cautious.
If I
haven’t mentioned it enough, I love you all and am thankful that you have been
a part of my life. Relationships are what make life great, and I’ve been
blessed to be around great people.
For I know that my
redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And
though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom
I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my
reins be consumed within me. –Job 19:25-27
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