Awhile back (as in a couple months ago, a long time for a college student) there was a flurry of nude picture hacks. Jennifer Lawrence, McKayla Maroney, Kirsten Dunst, the list could go on. A list of actresses and athletes who for the most part I have legitimate respect for- which makes an occurrence like this all the more heartbreaking.
Sure, we can judge these women and scrutinize them to no end. They should have never taken them, something few will dispute. But I choose to take the higher road. I choose to examine why something like this would ever happen. See, this is bigger than this specific occurrence. This is a statement on our culture itself.
Two mentalities lead to things like this happening. Parents, schools and churches all can take a slab of the blame.
First, girls are not taught to respect themselves. I’ve written before on the fact that we, “we” being the human race, are a bunch of slimeballs who are naturally evil. I do not back down from that, though I would use different terminology. But there is a difference between recognizing your need for God and having a total disregard for yourself. Girls from a young age are being lied to by society, straight up. They are being told that what matters most is others’ perception of you. This is garbage. They are being told that men need to find you attractive; that is the principal goal. Hence, more skin and more makeup. I don’t find an excessive amount of either attractive, although I don’t buy into the hoopla that women should go without makeup, either.
If one is looking for a legitimate relationship, revealing clothing and excess makeup may be a warning sign. For someone looking for a one-night stand, it is ideal.
This isn’t me judging girls who go the more revealing route. They don’t deserve to be treated differently. But the simple reality is, they will be. If men see it advertised, they will think it’s for sale.
Girls today are being set up for one night stands. The “beautiful little fool” mentality that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote about decades ago is no more prevalent than today. Girls who come from a fatherless home or a very weakly fathered home believe they have to find “love” through other men- and they are taught that love means giving yourself up.
Enter nude photos. You want to be popular? You want to attract men? Take it off. That’s society saying this, not me. The one issue is, with technology today, those stick around. But this problem stems from the greater problem: instead of teaching girls that their satisfaction should come from Christ or even their mentality and abilities, they are taught to seek it in physical attraction and undeserved, unloving intimacy.
Of course, there are two sides to every coin. Going hand-in-hand with this is that the men being reared up in society aren’t taught to respect women. I may get a few things thrown at me, but let’s admit that there are differences between the sexes. Women are more emotionally vulnerable. And men will take full advantage, using the emotional to get the physical. “If you love me…” “It’ll make us closer.” It’s disgusting, but if it weren’t true I wouldn’t tell you. Men believe the greatest thing you can do for them, other than having sex with them, is seeing you naked. In reality, if you’re getting this request, they care nothing for you but for the physical pleasure they can derive from you.
Men are told that the way they “prove” their manhood is by using women this way. Hence, we have guys not just asking for nude photos, but guys hacking those nude photos and getting their jollies by spreading them across the globe. We have a society full of naïve, victimized women, and men that have never moved past their boyish behavior to learn the proper way to treat the opposite sex.
And stemming from these issues, we have a situation like this. Web security won’t solve this problem. Respect for ourselves and care for the opposite sex will. Even more golden than revealing clothing to a meathead looking for a girl to bed is a lack of self-respect. Now there are many ways that a woman learns not to respect herself, but we’ll save that for another time. But if she doesn’t think highly enough of herself not to be more than the lady of the evening, she’s the sick gazelle running past a pack of lions.
Respect yourself, ladies. Know you deserve better. And men, treat women with respect, not a means to your selfish ends. For every situation like this latest nude photo hack there is a society we all contribute to that is to blame.
Then again, I’m sure none of that’s my business.
But what about women in long term relationships? If a woman is in a long term relationship, sex is going to be an aspect of that relationship. A woman can still respect herself while doing something sexy for her lover, and just because he may ask for a picture doesn't mean that is all he cares about. As long as it remains private between the two people in the relationship, sending nudes can be a fun and healthy aspect to the physical aspect of a relationship, especially in long distance relationships where the two don't get to be together often. Is the physical aspect of a relationship the most important part? Heck no. But it is definitely important and is something you may have forgotten to consider when thinking on this topic.ReplyDelete
As a side note, I am not a Christian, as you clearly are, but my stance holds true for any romantic relationship, whether married or not.
Additional side note: What about the nudes that men send?
As a Christian, I would take issue with a couple outside of the confines of marriage sending nude photographs to each other, as you might expect. However, I do not hold non-Christians to Christian standards. I will point to the case with Jennifer Lawrence, who sent photos to her long-distance boyfriend. The photos were leaked from a third party. That is the risk one takes in sending compromising photos over technological mediums.Delete
I do believe intimacy is important within a marriage relationship; you have heard my beliefs on other relationships.
I believe men should be held to the same standard, and that both sexes should have respect for themselves and the other sex. This case dealt with women, so I dealt with that aspect.